Transcript [EN]: This One is For the Boys | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories." I'm Shayne. And today's episode is a special one. We are doing a special birthday episode for our good friend Spencer Agnew. (audience applauding) - And it's also my birthday. - And it's also my birthday. - Happy birthday old chap. - So I'm here with Spencer and Amanda. Thank you for being here. - Of course, his number one favorite, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, that's fair. (crew laughing) - Great. - So Spencer, because it's your birthday, we decided to give you the gift that everyone wants on their birthday, curated Reddit stories. (crew laughing) - Just for you. So when we hear these Reddit stories, I'm gonna think Spencer really likes this story. - Yeah. - I'm very curious what qualifies as a like Spencer Agnew themed story. Keana picked a lot of these, so Keana knows you very well. - You're effed. - So we'll see. I wonder how we'll, we'll have to piece together why it's a Spencer story. - Yeah. I was asked like, "Hey, are there any stories you would want to have read, like, that you guys could talk about?" And all the ones I was like thinking of were like these, all these ones from like 2011 or 2012 that were just like, they're horrendous. - Oh. - And I think, like, I think like people who know these classics, like, we'll know these classics, but it's just like, it's truly like, they're not even funny. - People forget the internet. - Do we have a classic in here? - Probably. - I don't think we have any of the, like the kid with the broken arms. - Too dark. Too dark. - Yeah. - The dark ages of, "Oh." - I won't even know. - Or the, the dog one. - I know what you're talking about. - Yeah. - Yeah. No, you're talking about nightmare fuel stories. - Yeah. - Like, these are like creepy pastas. (all laughing) They're real. No, the internet used to be somehow, in many ways, worse. - Really? - There were stories that you would read were worse. - We fixed Reddit. - You guys fixed Reddit? Oh, okay. Good. - It's give and take - For my birthday, I want the coconut story and the boy with no arms. - No you don't. No you don't. The boy with broken arms one is no, - I want that one. - No. - I want a birthday one. - Spencer, before we started filming. - Oh yeah. - You were talking about your birthday and you were talking about that you think you might go bald. - You had a nightmare. - I had a nightmare where I was going bald. I was in an elevator and I kept trying to go up and the elevator was going down and I didn't know my room key. - And you were going bald. - And I was going bald. Every time I had less and less hair. - You were going to hell. - And I was going to hell. Yeah. And then I woke up and I couldn't remember how old I was. (crew laughing) I was like, because I was like, "Oh, it's my birthday episode." And I was like, "How old am I?" And I think I'm gonna be 34. - Wow. - Wow. - Pretty cool. - That's really cool. - Yeah. - You also have so much hair. - Yeah. - I really think it could go. Would you guys still love me? - Of course. - Yeah, man. - Wait. I remember when I first worked here, you had like a shaved head, I'm pretty sure. - What'd you think? It looked really good? - I loved it. - Thank you. - But it was dyed, it was dyed like blonde, right? - Yeah. - I loved it. So if you wanna go that way, get it. - I think the move is, if you go bald, you just grow a big beard. - True. I mean, like, I think, - If he has a big beard, - Growing up I kind of wanted like the receding hairline, like, you know, 'cause like all the like, Yeah. - Like, kind of what, - Cool actors. - It was cool in the '90s. - It was like, you know, like Jack, all those, - It was very cool. - I was like, "Why isn't my hair like that?" Like, I was like, oh, they're, - Well, you're a child. - Yeah. - I think his hair looked like that when he was young. - Jack Nicholson? - No. - Walton Goggins. - Yes. - Yeah. - Walton Goggins. I think he's just always been like that. - Yeah. It's probably same with Jack Nicholson, actually. - Yeah. - So it's not in the cards for you 'cause you got full head of hair. - You got hair. - You got hair. - Sorry dude. - It's all right, man. - I can't wait to read this Reddit story about Spencer. - Okay. - Yeah. - Here are some Spencer themed stories. First one comes from am I the asshole. "Am I the for not being thrilled about my girlfriend's birthday gift to me?" In parentheses, "lingerie." - This is so you. This is so you, man, - I don't know how much I wanna dox myself. Like, read the story, then I'll talk about my, - Thong. Just kidding. (all laughing) - "Girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and we are both 20. There's not much story here. Last weekend was my birthday. My girlfriend came over and said her present was a surprise. She went into another room and came out in a lingerie set that she said was new. She looked hot, we fooled around. That's that." - Okay. (crew laughing) It's okay. - "Afterwards she asked what I thought of my present. I was a bit confused. And this is when she inferred that the lingerie was my present. This rubbed me wrong and it felt like a lazy excuse," - Right after she rubbed him, right. (crew laughing) - I was just waiting. - We knew it was coming, - Waiting. - "This rubbed me wrong, and it felt like a lazy excuse for a gift from someone I've been dating for a year. To me, she bought something for herself and said it was a gift to me. I might have been an asshole for this comment. So if we break up, do I get to keep that and give it to whoever I date next?" - I hate, is this you? - I would (beep) never say that. - I know you wouldn't. You wouldn't. - He says this comment rubbed her the wrong way and she called me an asshole. "I'm also upset because I took her out to a fancy dinner for her birthday that cost over $200. That's no small cost for a 20-year-old college student without a job." Oh my God. - Dude. Okay. - Okay. First of all, not the asshole. (all laughing) - First of all, king. - Yeah. (all laughing) - I just, I've never been one for like, lingerie, if that makes sense. - Wow. - I understand. - I hate to like, I hate to be like, oh, I've been like surprised. But it's always just like, it's like this is gonna be the most like, milady thing I've ever said, but it's kind of just like, dude, it's a big t-shirt. Like I don't care. Like as long as like you're, - Sure - You're cozy. Like, I've never been like, "Oh yeah, this is like, yeah, like lingerie." It feels like, I don't know. Not really appealing to me. - That's fair. - That's okay. - But like, to the way he handled this was like, - Oh. Well, 'cause you can also, if it's not for you, that's fine. But you can also appreciate the effort that went into it. - Yeah. - It was an experience. - Yeah. - That's what she gave him. - I can't imagine any guy he talks to being like, "Yeah, I'm on your side, bro." It's like, no, this is, - Yeah. Can I keep, can I keep that lingerie and then give it to someone else? It's like the lingerie isn't for you to keep, it's for you to see your girlfriend, - Yeah. - In a hot like suit. - And if she feels hot in it, then like that, like then encourage that. - Yeah. It'll happen again for you maybe, not for this guy. - That's probably the worst, that it's one of the worst things he could have said. - Yeah. - I don't know how you say something so bad. - Yeah. For him to like try and turn that on her is crazy. - So you were disappointed? So this happens. - Like, disappointed is a strong word. - Yeah. - I just don't like it, It doesn't do much for me. - Right. That's fine. But you wouldn't say that. You'd be like, "That's great. Thank you." - Yeah, in that inflection. - In that context. - Hey, that's awesome, babe. - Plenty of times, plenty of times for your birthday, you get gifts that you're not actually a fan of, but you still can appreciate that someone - [Both] Yeah. - Went outta their way. And this was just so unappreciative. - I thought this story was gonna go that, she gave him lingerie, and he had like a thong. (crew laughing) I was like, "Whoa. Cool." - Yeah. - Also horrible thing to say of, and can I give it to whoever I date next? He is inferring that they're gonna break up and that he's gonna date, - That's crazy. You bought her the $200 dinner. - And also like, (crew laughing) buy me the dinner. Don't remind me like, I didn't know there were strings attached to this dinner. Like, you wanna buy me a $200 dinner? That's on you, but don't remind me, - Lingerie is expensive too. - I'm pretty sure it can be really expensive. - It could be over $100. - Yeah. - And it's multiple use unlike a dinner. And also it's, - Unlike leftovers. Sorry. - Yeah. (crew laughing) - My bad. I also, this is another situation where I just kind of don't like the guy based on how he's writing 'cause he is just like, "She looked hot, we fooled around, that's that." I'm like, "Okay buddy." - Ew. - Like, all right, man. - Whenever I hear fooled around, like, I don't think of sex. Like I feel like they like, they like kind of, - Tumbled down the stairs. - Well, like, I think they, - Kinda like, just like, slapped hands? - They like, did like hand stuff. - Okay. - Like fooling around is like hand stuff. - Oh, interesting. - It's like this. - Yeah. Yeah. It's like, - I feel like fooled around could just cover any variation stuff. - I know. But if it's like, "Hey, what if we fool around?" Like, I don't know. - It feels very old School. - It's very old school. It's very 50s, - Yeah. - Sounding to me - Fool around and fell in love. - Yeah? - Don't sing it. - It happens. - I didn't. - I also think it's sad whenever people just quantify gifts based on like, well, I got you a 200 gift, you owe me. - It's like, don't get me gifts. This is why I don't like, - Like yes, I have a list of all the money I've ever spent on women but, - That's so gross. Could you imagine? Do you? - No. - Yeah. Keeping score is definitely a bad move. - The wallet keeps the score. - Comments. - I can't. - Comments. "Does it fit you." (crew laughing) - Got his ass. - Hey, man. Someone said, "Owen's the asshole, but it sounds like both of you could work on your communication. From her perspective, she might see being wrapped up in nice lingerie as thoughtful and intimate gift, and many people would agree. However, it's clear that you have a different view, which is perfectly valid. Having expectations is normal, but the key is to communicate them clearly. That's the first step." OP said, "I think it could be part of the present, but it being the whole thing seems selfish and pretty thoughtless in my opinion." - Okay. - I'm not on board with that. - Therapist Reddit commenters just crack me up. They're like, "Hey guys, communication is key." And it's like, no bitch. She was in lingerie, okay. Just let her, like, let go. Hell yeah. - Just around, duh. - Actively being murdered, hey, let's communicate. - [Both] Yeah. - Someone said, "Dude, your girlfriend just gave you the five star treatment. Would you rather have a $25 Applebee's gift card?" OP says, "I disagree that I got a five star treatment. Having sex with your partner isn't a present." - Whoa. Get me out of here. - I would say it's the greatest gift of all. - Yeah. (crew laughing) Dude, you are lucky she's having sex with you, okay. - Someone said, "You're the asshole and a dumb ass. Honestly, your girlfriend gave you an experience as your gift" OP said, "How is it different than the experience I get daily outside of fabric placement?" Okay, this guy needs to just be single. - This guy sucks. - Someone says, "I really don't see how your gift was any different to hers. Surely you guys eat together all the time. So going to a fancy restaurant is just upping the experience a few notches. She did the exact same thing for you with the lingerie. Nice lingerie can easily cost a few hundred dollars and she probably spent a lot of time getting ready and tried to make it a fun, special experience. Sexy lingerie is not something you really wear for yourself, you wear it for your partner. Your reaction to what she tried to do must have hurt her feelings a lot. Given your age, I think immaturity like that is probably forgivable, but given that she's the same age, I'm guessing she may have a similarly immature reaction. Hopefully you guys can make up, but I seriously doubt you'll be seeing lingerie on her again." - Oh, no. - Yeah, I agree. I think a fancy dinner is very comparable because it's like, - It's an experience. - Oh, you also get to eat there. - [Both] Yeah. - Like, you know? - Have a bite in my steak. (crew laughing) - I don't. - That's crazy. I see it that, hey, good pick. - That's a good pick. - Good pick team. - It's a good pick. (crew laughing) - This is an experience for me guys. This is my birthday present. - I love it. - I wanted Shayne to come out in lingerie. - Could you imagine, (crew laughing) Fooling around and stuff? - That's that. Fool around. That's that. - That's that. - Well, at the end we'll rate which one's the most Spencer of them all. - Yeah. Okay, okay. - That one's pretty Spencer. Pretty Spencer. - Oh, this one Feels low on Spencer's. - You think it's a lower, like a four on the Spencer scale? - I think there is Spencer within the story. - Yeah. - There's Spencer within the story not enjoying the lingerie, but not being a dick about it. - Exactly. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Okay. Okay. Our next story is a, today I (beep) up. - Yeah. - Anything for me to do? - You do it all the time. - Wow. - Sorry. (crew laughing) - He felt bad immediately. - Yeah. - Today I (beep) up. - What? (crew laughing) - Stop. I can't handle it. Actually, that makes me feel so much anxiety. I was like, "No one better talk. No one better talk." (crew laughing) - Today I (beep) up by buying a knockoff Lego set that my kids should not play with. - What? - Okay, okay. - Okay. This is sounding Spencer. - What? - Spencer got it. "I have kids. My kids and I enjoy playing with Legos. Well, they like playing. I just like building cool stuff. We made a house, city, a zoo, et cetera. The other day I was browsing on an app known for cheap knockoffs. And because Legos are expensive, I often purchased the knockoff sets from said app. Of course, like all shopping apps, the algorithm shows me things I would be interested in based on things I've looked at before. And on this day it was showing me lots of cool block sets. There was a cool tree house, a little cafe, a park, and an awesome vintage motor home. You know, the kind 70s, tan, brown, orange and yellow. I loved it. I bought the not Lego Motor Home and it was delivered today. I was so excited. And as soon as dinner was over, I proceeded to build the motor home with the help of one of my kids, only one, because one is older now and doesn't often care to build anymore, and my youngest doesn't like the building part, just playing with the things that I build. So here I was happily putting together my awesome vintage motor home. I get the frame done and then I start working on the inside. As I get further along, I notice that the inside of the motor home does not look like a normal motor home. There's no bed, no table and bench seats, no bathroom. There's a lot of jugs and crates and bottles though. Now I think it's important that I stop right here and explain something. I don't watch TV. I used to, but over the last decade, I have had trouble being able to just sit and get into a show or movie. I'm aware of the popular shows, but I couldn't tell you any details about them. Like 'Game of Thrones,' everybody would talk about it. I have a general idea about what it's about, but I couldn't tell you specifics. Another show like, this is 'Breaking Bad.' - I was gonna say, I was gonna, - Yep. this is my prediction. - Never saw it. - They built the Winnebago. - Yeah. - "I know it's about a drug dealer, but that's pretty much the extent of it. So back to tonight, I'm looking at this strange motor home and thinking, what the heck is wrong with this thing? And then I look at the box. The picture on the app I ordered it from didn't show the box, didn't mention anything about the show or anything that would be telling. And to be honest, I didn't really pay any attention to the box when I opened it. The box says, Break Bad. That's when it hit me, is this from that TV show, 'Breaking Bad'? Isn't that a show about a drug dealer? No, no, no, no, no, no. Please tell me I did not buy my kids a Lego set from a show about drug dealers. So I Googled, 'Breaking Bad' motor home. And oh, my friends, if you watch the show, you no doubt know that it is much worse than that. Google promptly displayed a picture of a 1986 Fleetwood Bounder that looked an awful lot like the one that I've been building this evening. And I read the description. The awesome vintage motor home that I just built for my kids is the RV from 'Breaking Bad' in which Walter White and Jesse Pinkman cooked methamphetamine. Yes, my friends. You read that, right? I bought my kids a Lego meth lab." Wow, here it is. That looks awesome. - That looks really cool. - Dude, - Looks sick. - We need to get this. - I would love that. - This is so sick. - What in the game stage? - Wow. And I can see on the inside and they've got the, they've got the blue meth in there. They've got the whole setup. - There's nothing better than someone who writes, "Well, my friends," - And then "No, no, no, no." - "No, no, no, no, no." - Well, my friends, - My friends. - It says, "Break Bad RV," - Just like, don't tell the kids meth was cooked in there. - Just don't build the meth lab on the inside. - Yeah. - Keep it empty on the inside. - Or say it's, because in the show they used actual rock candy for the meth. Say it's rock candy. - Oh really? - I love rock candy. - It's a blue rock candy. - So fun. They must have been eating that all the time. - I bet they were. - Whoa. - I love rock candy. - Something "Breaking Bad" doesn't really do is like, explore, well, it's definitely not the focus of the show is like, - It's not. It's not. - Like meth addiction. - It's the dealing part. - [Both] Yeah. - It's the cooking and dealing part. - I never saw "Breaking Bad" and trust me, I know, I need to. - It's such a good show. - But I knew immediately, I was like, "Oh, this is definitely from "Breaking Bad." - Yeah. - Break Bad. - It's the most famous RV. - It's, yeah. - So did he stop building it? - I don't know - What happened? - I imagine he probably, - I'm trying to remember the fate of the, - It seemed very easy to build it and not finish the inside. - It's so cute. - I'm trying to remember the fate of the RV in the show. - I don't remember. I think it's gone like by season one or season two. - No, they definitely have it for a while. - Do they? - Yeah. - Do you love "Breaking Bad"? Is this guy the story to you? - It's probably my favorite show of all time. - It's a really, it is arguably the best. - It's kind of the best show ever. - It's like "Soprano's," "The Wire," "Breaking Bad," right? That's what the, - Oh shit. I guess I need to watch. - Oh, you'd love it. - It's so good. My flex when I first moved out to LA, it was when "Breaking Bad" was doing the, like, big finale, or it was like the finale of "Breaking Bad" and they had it at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. And they drove the, - The Winnebago. - The RV out and the whole cast got out of the RV. - Stop. - It was crazy. - Damn. - Hollywood Forever Cemetery movies are the best. - It's such a great show. And what I feel like doesn't get talked about a lot is, it's actually like a really, really dark comedy. It's so funny. - Walter is just, he's the stupidest, - Smart guy. - Smart guy of all time. Like, it's just really funny. Look, I could sit here and talk about it all day. - I need to watch it. - Some of the best character arcs of all time. - All right. I'll watch it. Is there an update? - No. - His kids got addicted to meth and died. - Some comments. "Now begins the fun project of taking out the meth lab parts and restoring it to a normal motor home." Someone said, "Thought this was going to be a, today I (beep) up and gave my kids lead poisoning by using cheaply manufactured things post." Someone said, "The six plus made me laugh way too hard." It does say, it says "eight plus" on the box. - We didn't even talk about like the ramifications of like Lego dupes and stuff like that. - What are the ramifications of Lego dupes? - I mean, it's just like, I think you're getting what you're paying for ultimately with Lego. - It's a risk. - Yeah. Like there's just certain things you like. I think, I think you're gonna notice a huge difference in quality just like the weight of the plastics. - Are they actual, are they, they're not actual Legos. It's not like people take Legos and like curate their own box. So it's a different thing. - Do you have a lot of Legos? - Oh yeah. This dude Legos. - So your whole room is Legos. So like you can't move too much or else it all falls. - What's your best Lego set? - Oh, I have like all, they did like a "Jurassic Park" series a couple years ago for like for like the old movie. And I wanna like build all those together but, - What is it? The entrance or something? - They have, it's like the visitor center. It's like the inside of the visitor center. - That's iconic scene. - I'll do a Lego tour one day. - Really? - I could. - I would love that. - If we ever have the space here at Smosh, it'd be so sick to build the Death Star. - Yeah. - Is that what you wanna do? - Is that what you wanna, - Where where would we do that? - We'd need a lot of space and we'd need like a dozen people to build it. It's like massive - Pitch it. - Hey, - We could spend a whole week doing it. - Almost like Mr. Beast type video. - Yeah. - Can we build the Death Star in an hour? - Oh my God. That's what they tried to do to in "Return of the Jedi." - They tried. Yeah. Someone wrote a comment in the like, tone of those old Lego City ads, "A man has overdosed on methamphetamine in Lego City. Quick build the activated charcoal and load it into the launcher in all new meth lab RV Lego set." - This guy was so happy. - He was stoked. - He was like, "Ah, love it. Oh, should I voice record?" - Redditors in the comments, if they can think of some reference or a pun. - You can think of a joke, - If they got a pun, that's what they're doing. - Can you voice record an a Reddit comment? - No. - But could you imagine? - It would be over? No, they actually, nobody would because anonymity is what they all crave. - Okay. - That's the other thing, I love the Lego boxes so much. So I end up not building a lot 'cause I just like having the boxes. - You like having the box. Yeah. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - All right. Our next story. "My boyfriend, a 40-year-old man, wants me, 30-year-old woman, to only watch movies with him. Hi all. I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years and he gets angry slash upset anytime I want to watch a movie with someone else, friend or family. To give some context, he loves movies. He watches everything from rom-com, action to drama. So I've respected his wishes and watched every movie he's wanted to watch with him for the past six years. I've turned down watching movies with friends and family numerous times simply because he wants to watch it with me first. I do love and enjoy watching movies in theaters with him. It's one of our favorite pastimes, but I think it's incredibly suffocating that he takes issue with me watching a single movie without him. For example, he's abroad in another country right now, and a female friend invited me to a movie screening. Knowing that he would take issue with me going, I reached out to him to talk about it, but I'm starting to feel resentful I have to do this to appease him or feel guilty for going, even though he wouldn't be here to go with me anyway. He is not one to compromise and frankly, he's never shown that he cares about how I feel about the matter. What do I do or say to him to improve the situation?" - Goodbye. - Yeah, literally like, like I love, - I know, you love movies. - I love movies. I love watching movies with a partner. - Yep. - You know. It's one of life's great, like, great fooling around watching, - Fooling around, - Watching a movie. - [Shayne] Fooling around watching a movie. - Watching a movie. - Fooling around and watching a movie. - Netflix and truly sit and watch the movie. - Yeah, Netflix, (crew laughing) Netflix and watch. - How about that? - How about we try that? - Eyes are on the movie, - But you would never. - Oh God, no. - I also think you enjoy other people watching movies and having experiences and then telling you about it. - Yeah. - And like, talking about the movie, like on their own. So you would never be like this, right? - Right. Yeah no, I mean that's like, well, also having like a partner who like would own like, it's like, "Hey, you can't do that without me." That's like suffocating, - In general. - That'll be like suffocating for, I don't see how that's not suffocating for him too, where it's like, I want, like, don't you want your partner to like, do stuff without you. - A lot of people don't. - I guess not. - That is insane to me because I love watching movies with my partner, but there are friends that I love. - You have like a whole movie group. - I have a movie groups. - You have a movie group? - I have two different movie groups. I have one film wives movie group where it's five girls and we talk the entire movie and that's the only time I let it happen. And we cast each other in it. And I always play the guy who's a douche bag. (crew laughing) And then I have two dude friends that we go see movies. And it's always like the (beep) up horror movies - Nice. - That we watch together. - And that's the best. - Yeah. - I would never be with someone who took that away from me. - No, I don't understand the concept of being like, you're not allowed ever. There's like plenty of times where there's a specific movie where it's like, oh, we gotta see, - Especially if you watch like the series together. Like, I get being upset if like, they didn't tell like, Hey, we've watched like all the "Mission Impossible" movies together. - Exactly. - And the new one's coming out It's like, oh, well I'm seeing that with like blah, blah, blah. Like, I would, - I agree, and series. Like, if you're away, you kind of have an unspoken thing, if you started the series together. - Absolutely. - And if you watch an episode without them, it kind of sucks. - It does suck. Yeah. - But it's not like, - Think it's so like, you can, if you're like, "Hey, do you mind if I watch this without you?" And like, "I'll rewatch it with you maybe." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, 'cause I know some people are okay with rewatching stuff like, - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, absolutely. - But this is, - This is a lot. - I wonder what she wanted to see. - Oh yeah, with her friend. - And this was posted two days ago and we're in May right now. So this could be "Final Destination," could be "Mission Impossible." - What else would it be? It can't be be "Sinners." - It could be a lot of things. I mean, it could be any movie. She's saying like any movie. - I'm saying, if Ethan Hunt asked you to trust him one last time, what would you say? - I would say, absolutely. Let's go Ethan. - Also though, like, you know, if you get to invited to a screening, that's such a cool opportunity, you don't wanna take that away from someone. - Right. - Like if Courtney got invited to a really cool screen for a movie that I was stoked to see, I'd be like, "Well, just go" and then like, - Just go. - And see it. - Just go and take me. - Just go and like, you know, - And I'll go too. - And I'll go. Come on. - Oh, it could be "Lilo and Stitch." There's a million. Movies are always, - Irrelevant, no. Opinion discarded. - But I think it's sad that she's known a place where she's like, oh, you shouldn't be worried shouldn't about what he thinks. Like you don't ever wanna be in that place. - Also like, you need to watch movies with other people 'cause it's a different vibe. - Also he's abroad, he's probably cheating on her. - Yeah. Exactly. He's sleeping with another person. - He's probably watching other movies. - He's probably seeing other movies. - He's probably seeing French films. - Oh my God. He's watching like "Before Sunset" your favorite series. - Yeah. - He's probably watching "Lilo and Stitch." I've never seen "Lilo and Stitch." - Neither have I. - What? - Really? We're older. - We're older and wiser. - "Lilo and Stitch" came out forever ago. - We're wise. - Yeah. And we were too old. - Yeah. Too old, bud. - Spencer, I think you were like 12. - No. - Yeah. I was too old dude. - Yeah. - I was fooling around. - And falling in love. - Bunch of comments here. "Are you positive that he is 40? 'Cause No." - Wait, what? - Someone said he's dating 10 years younger for a reason. Someone said, "This is an absolutely bonkers rule. It's one thing to say that there's this very specific movie he wants to watch with you, which I think is reasonable, but he's way past that." Someone said, "Is this the only weirdly controlling insecure thing about him or are there others?" - Good question. - "Because this is not a you thing to fix. There's nothing that you can say to him that will cause this particular idiosyncrasy of his to go away. Regardless of whether this is the only weird controlling thing he does or not, you have a right to do things as an adult and he doesn't have to like it. But if his reaction to things that he doesn't like is over the top, then that's a big problem. Still, if you haven't communicated how you're feeling about all of this to him, then he can't know and adjust accordingly. So the first step would be to say something like, 'I know you prefer it when we watch new movies together, but I'm feeling resentful about that because it means I don't have a choice about who I see movies with. Since you're away, I'm going to see a movie with my friend and I need that to be okay.' How he reacts to that will tell you a lot about how the next conversation with him needs to go." - I like when Reddit advice says just like, "Say you're resentful to your partner." It's like, okay, like maybe couch the language like, (all laughing) - Is there one therapist going around all the Reddit source and going like, "Well, I've got clock in, clock out." - Yeah, like the problem, - It's a lot. - The problem is like, what works in like, the specific wording that works for one person may not work for another. I also, it's like, it sounds good when you're typing it out on Reddit. - Yeah. - Say that out loud. - Like, Hey, I'm feeling resentful when you, it's just, there's not, - There's a lot of like, I don't think this fits in that category, but we've talked about like, there's a lot of like living out fantasies of like, well, this sounds right as I'm typing it. - Yeah. It's like, here's what you do in a perfect world where no one would like feel offended or anything. - It's also like, - No one would feel attacked. - The unfortunate thing with Reddit, with all of these stories is like, we're hearing about a person through just a small little paragraph about a person we've never met before. You meet this guy and you might go, "Oh, don't ever say that." - Maybe his parents died while watching a movie with someone else. - Yeah. I mean, look, but regardless, she has to set this boundary. And if he's not okay with that, then goddamn. - Well, here's the thing. - They've been together six years, she's been letting it go on for six years. This is gonna be really hard to set the boundary. - Yeah. - Especially when he's away. I guarantee he's gonna be like, who are you going to see, - Yeah. - At this movie? Like, it's really hard to immediately set a boundary. I think the most important part though, of this comment is that, is this the only weird controlling, insecure thing about him? - Yes. - Yeah. - I have a feeling this is part of many things he does. - It's also music. Hey, so you didn't listen to anything on the ride into work today, did you? - Yeah. Could you imagine? - I wanna make sure, I'm gonna be out of town, make sure you don't consume any media. - Yeah. - I want it to be silent. That's such a weird form of control that he has over her, is that, he doesn't want her to have any experiences, - Yeah. - Without him and yet he's (beep) abroad with someone with a broad. - Yeah. - Abroad with broad. - Abroad with a broad? - No. So one time I was reading Reddit on my computer at work, and Shayne came over and grabbed the laptop and started, he was like, - He cannot do that. - He's like, "You can't read the," and he started, he started reading the stories to me. I was like, I have that. - I have to read them. - And he was like, "I have to read these." - That's really controlling. - You can't control Spencer's experience. - I have to make sure that nobody in this office is doing that, - Hey, you made me, what was the word they used? I'm feeling resentful. - He's feeling resentful right now and I'm his therapist. - Okay. So another, I always see like, pictures on Twitter and Reddit of like, people jumping around the couch in Reddit stories. I've never done that. - Jumping around the couch? - It'll be like, Tommy, he's like on the wall. - Oh. - Oh, Tommy. - People will be like SpiderMan. They'll be like up on the, I'm like, - We don't need to do that. - Yeah, we don't need to do that stuff. - It's all in our face. - Final comment. "Just go stop asking for permission. If he makes a fuss afterwards, tell him to drop it or you're leaving the relationship." - Tell him to drop it. - Drop it. - Hey, drop it. - Hey, drop it. - Hey. Freaking drop it. My favorite thing about Reddit is that ever, the advice is always just break up. It's just like, - I know. - A lot of these stories, - A lot of 'em, it actually does fit. So, I can't hate too much. - Hey, hey, drop it. - I don't know if this is like breakup territory, but it is like, stop. - It's break up territory if the communication and boundary setting doesn't work. - Well, if he's like, "No, you can never." - I don't think she needs to say that she's resentful, but she does need to be like, "Hey, I gotta be able to go see movies without you." - Hey man, I, - Hey, drop it. - "Lilo and (beep)" drop it. I'm resentful as (beep). - Drop it. Drop it. - I'm resentful. - Hey, I (beep) hate you. - I hope the movie's good. - I hope so too. Okay, our next story. "Am I the asshole for wanting to divorce my husband because he asked if he could get a (beep) job from a sex worker?" This is so Spencer coated. - Didn't we just talk about this? - Did we? - This is so Spencer coated. - This is Spencer through and through. - This is birthday coded though, because it starts off, "Today is my birthday." - And it's also my birthday. - It's my birthday. "Today is my birthday. So me and my husband, a 25-year-old man, decided to go out for lunch. The day was going well and everything seemed normal. On the way back home in the car, he asked me if I would mind if he hired a sex worker to blow him because according to him, my (beep) job skills are not that good. I asked him if he was serious and he just kept asking if I would mind it. I got upset at him, obviously. And when he noticed I was upset, he said I was a hypocrite and was making drama and that I wanted to ruin the day, et cetera. I feel hurt and I'm thinking about divorcing him. He just said I was being a jerk for no reason. Am I overreacting? It's not like he cheated. Am I the asshole?" - Can I say something that might be weird? I feel like if your partner's not giving a good (beep) job, why don't you guys work on it together? - That was the most normal thing you could have (beep) said, dude. I thought you were gonna be like, "Oh dude. Yeah, just like, let him have this one." - Sometimes I say comments and people are like, "What the hell?" But like, why don't you guys just watch a little porn, be like, this is what I like, this is what I don't like. Do you wanna try it? And he can do it to you too. Not all men are good at that. Like, just talk about it. I don't know. - Well, I think it's very sad that like, - Hey, drop it. - Hey, drop it. - Freaking drop it. - Ugh. - This is like a form of communication that I feel like a lot of people lack, which is just like, we feel so uncomfortable with sex, like (beep) - Reading the (beep) room. - So like, once it's like you're married to this person, like you guys should be able to talk about anything. - You're married. - And you cannot even talk about this. And I get really frustrated with like, fixed mindset views of like, oh, these are your blowjob skills. That's permanent. That's what you're - Yeah, it's done. - It's like, you can't talk about it and like, - You can't level your skills up through training. (all laughing) - Yeah. Just train a little bit. It's not a big, but to get a from a (beep) sex worker is so like - That's zero to a million. - Yeah. And then to be like, you're overacting? - Dude, what if the sex worker was bad at it? - Hey, hey, that could happen. - Yeah. Actually that's a pro move. If she hires a sex worker for him, but she's like, give a really bad (beep) - Give a really bad (beep) job. - And then he's like, wow, I guess you're the best. (all laughing) - But it's like, this guy's being to me, this guy literally wants a drop from another person and he's just gaslighting her. - Him being like, "Oh, you're a jerk." Like, I think we all got confused because it's, because the way he is talking to her makes it feel like, - You're talking to me like it's your birthday but it's my birthday. - It is her birthday and he's asking for a (beep) job from a sex worker on her birthday. - And all she asked for was lunch. - Well, she's probably got so much other things to like celebrate. This might be a good time to just bring it up. - Okay. This is so Spencer's story. - Yeah. Wow. - Where do they go to lunch? I mean, - Yeah. - Where? - For some reason, I am really hung up on where they went to lunch. - I'm really hung up 'cause it like, - Like you what is a birthday lunch like? - You know, it's not good enough. - No, it's like a sandwich and a salad, which I love, - But? - I love that for lunch. But like, it's her birthday. - But you know what I love more? - A (beep) job from a sex worker. - From a sex worker. - Yeah, I thought so. I knew this is your story. - Married at 25 and already asking for a job from a sex worker. It's like, - It only gets better. - You have bigger problems. - I'm gonna be a Redditer here and say they need to break up. - Yeah. - She needs to divorce him fast. - Yeah. - Lawyer up. - Lawyer up. - Lawyer up. - Get outta here. - Hit the gym. What was the, they used to be the, that used to be the meta on Reddit, it'd be like, lawyer up. Like anytime there was any relationship drama, like all that comes would be like, you need to lawyer up, hit the gym and like, and divorce her. It was like this - Always hit the gym. - And then it became so bastardized. They were like, hit the lawyer, gym up, like, oh, it was some fun run humor, yeah. - Oh, I love Reddit humor. - The comments. "The way I would get the ick and never touch his wiener again. - My wiener. - I got the ick from that comment. - Yeah. Wiener? - I never touch his wiener again. - Do not call a penis a wiener. I'm so sorry. - Your wiener skills are not epic. - Could you imagine if she was like, "Bring out that wiener." - Dude, just don't even, - I'm getting the ick right now. - I love how it's like, these are Spencer stories and it's a bunch of the most ungrateful guys. (all laughing) - Yeah. And Keana helped choose these. Oh. - A bunch of ungrateful guys who hate sex. - Yeah. - Just like, - And love Legos. - Legos and movies and zero sex. It's the chosen. - I know. Spencer. - I think they come with love. - Yeah. Not this one. - Yeah. Maybe not this one. Someone said, "Not the asshole. Gotta love the hypocrite comment after. Unfortunately it seems you didn't marry a keeper." OP left a comment, OP left a comment in here going, "I tried really hard to make sure he was the one too. I saw him go through his grandfather's death and I accidentally damaged his car and he was super nice about it and didn't scream or belittle me. The only area we had problems was our sex life because I had some health issues and it killed my libido. But when that was managed, it was great. He knew about my past and that one of my relationships was long distance, so I wasn't very experienced with sex, but I actually thought our sex life was okay. But I'm very vanilla but he never complained." - Oh? - Yeah. They never talked about it. - She just need, like, they just need to like work on it together, man. - They do. I don't know if I, at this stage, hearing this information, believe he's someone who's gonna work. - It also makes me really sad when it's like, oh, he didn't flip out when I, - It's like, oh, his grandpa died, he didn't me. - He didn't. Yeah, exactly. It's like, that's so, - He's not awful. - That's not, there's good men out there, guys. - I thought he was the one because he wasn't really mean to me. - Yeah, oh. - Obviously there is the conversation of like, couples having conversations about opening a relationship. This though hits different territory for me where it's like, can I get a (beep) job from a sex worker because you're bad at it. - Yeah. - And I'm like, that you can't move past that. - I think he thought in his head that, that like made sense. - I think you're right. Like, yeah. - He was like, "Well, this is gonna make sense because," - These guy like, "This is like stupidity on another level," or like a complete lack of like, I don't know, like social awareness. I don't know what you'd use to describe what he lacks, but it's, - To say something that mean and then afterwards to go, "You're overreacting, you're being a hypocrite, you're all these," it's like, okay, I don't believe what you're saying that he is nice. - Yeah. - He's probably recovering from the death of his grandfather. - Still. - There's nothing wrong with wanting something good from your partner but it's like, that is, he's just like coloring it as something else. - Yeah. Other comments? - God. - "My guess is he's gauging your reaction to something he's already done." - Spencer's that you? Is this you vibes? - That's such a crazy assumption. Like I don't, maybe they're right, but that's just like a, dude, he's cheated on you. He's been cheating on you for his whole life. - He's done. - He hates you. - Like, I don't know. That's like, - It's a possibility but, - It is a possibility. - But you can't just like jump to that. - Yeah. - It's a possibility. I don't think in my eyes it matters. I think the comment. - Oh, yeah, that's not the focus of the, yeah. - The comment enough is grounds. It's like, could he have done worse? Possibly. - But it's just like, I like only a Sith deals in absolutes kind of vibe. - Yeah. - But it's just like, it's like someone will post something on Reddit, they'd be like, "Oh, like yeah, like my wife came home late last night," and the comments would be like, "Dude, she's cheating on you." - Well she's cheating. - It's just like, - Yeah. - Perhaps not. - Yeah. - Perhaps. - "This can't be real. Nobody is dumb enough to ask his wife if he can get a BJ from a sex worker on her birthday. Oh my God. If it is real, you are an absolute saint for not cutting off his nuts right there and then." Someone commented underneath that saying, "Eh, I'm in the process of a divorce from a man who asked me five days after I had given birth vaginally with a first degree tear if he could have a mistress because he couldn't wait six weeks to have sex with me. Same man also told me that the only reason he'd ever (beep) during a (beep) job was because he was imagining that I was one of his employees while I was giving him the blowjob. Some people are just shitholes." - Dude. - Sir, the fax machine is working. One of your employees giving you a (beep) job. I don't know why that makes me laugh so hard. - Some things are so messed up, they're hilarious. - Sir, your meeting starts in 10 minutes. "Hey. I can't. What? Hello? First of all, I don't wanna hear about the tear. (all laughing) What the is a first degree tear. I'm gonna have to research this all night." I don't know. I don't know. - Oh no, this is bad. - Guy's never heard of jerking off. - I know. - And you tell him and he's like, "What?" - "What?" - He's like, "You could do what?" (all laughing) - Solo. - To my solo? Han solo. - Yeah. Why are you relying on just one other person? Take care of yourself. - Yeah. Dude. Oh my god. - Oh god. God. These are all your stories. - These are your stories. - And these are my stories. - Let's tell these stories. All right, our next story comes from the TwoHotTakes subreddit. - Oh. - Shout out to Morgan over at TwoHotTakes. - Love Morgan. - "My roommate doesn't want to live with me again after I watch "Jurassic Park" movies while his girlfriend was at our apartment. - Huh? - "My roommate doesn't want to live with me again after I watched Jurassic Park movies while his girlfriend was at our apartment." - Okay. - "I, a 22-year-old man, am finishing up my last year of college and live with my best friend, a 23-year-old man. He has a girlfriend who's 20 that he's been with for about six months. She's pretty shy. And whenever she's at our apartment, they're pretty much always just hanging out in my friend's room. They'll very rarely hang out in common areas for extended periods of time. So, suffice to say that even though I've known her for half a year, I know very little about her and wouldn't say I know her very well personally. This past weekend I was scrolling through Netflix to find something to put on in the background while I study for finals. I found the 'Land Before Time,' which was one of my favorite movies growing up because my older brother used to always play it for me when he babysat me. So I turned it on and just kind of had it on. My roommate and his girlfriend came by and my roommate noticed the movie I was watching. He commented that he hasn't seen it in years since he was a kid. He asked his girlfriend if she's ever seen it and she said no. She said that she wasn't allowed to watch any movies with dinosaurs because her religion doesn't believe in them and believed that their fossils were put in the ground by God as a test. Needless to say, I was caught off guard." Of course. - Oh. (all laughing) I've never heard that the fossils were put there by God. - As a test. - I've heard that the fossils are fake, but not that they're put there by God. Well, that's another level. - It's a dumb test. - "Of course, I had a million questions, but for some reason my brain went towards dinosaur movies instead of her religion. I asked if she'd ever seen any of the 'Jurassic Park' movies and she said no. I told her some of them are really good and suggested we have a dinosaur movie marathon. She said she doesn't want to watch any movie that goes against her beliefs. I just said, 'Okay' and didn't push it and they quickly retreated back to my roommate's room." - To fool around. - But it did kind of make me wanna watch 'Jurassic Park' movies." (all laughing) - Cubby, come think about "Jurassic Park," bro. - I love this love. - Right. That's awesome. "I have the first two on Blu-ray. So I found those and started watching them. Neither my roommate or his girlfriend came outta the room much of the rest of the day except to get something from the kitchen or go to the bathroom. After I finished the second movie, I left to meet up with some friends. I stayed at a friend's place that night after drinking. And when I got back to my place, my roommate immediately laid into me. He said that I was very disrespectful to his girlfriend by playing 'Jurassic Park' movies immediately after she told me it goes against her religious beliefs. He said, I made her feel very uncomfortable, and that they both agree I did it on purpose to mock her beliefs. I told him I don't care at all about her beliefs and that I don't, (all laughing) I told her I don't care at all about her beliefs and that all I did was watch movies in my own place. I told him it's not my problem what her religious beliefs are. And if she gets that upset about dinosaur movies, then I'm honestly kind of surprised she can go through day-to-day life without having an existential breakdown. He told me that he doesn't wanna live with me again after our lease is up at the end of the month. We had already been looking at renewing our lease or finding a new place, but I think they're seriously overreacting. - What is happening here? - Dude. - Break up with your roommate. Hit the gym. - Dude. Get outta there. - Look, I have my judgments of, I mean this is so extreme. I have my judgments of like certain beliefs and religions and whatever, but people can believe what they want. But I've always laughed at like, I can't watch that because they're talking about things or it shows things that I don't believe. I'm like, then yeah, don't, - Then don't watch it. It's not your house. - Or like watch it and don't believe it. It's a fictional movie. Like, you're saying that your your faith is so weak that you can't watch it or you'll immediately be swayed? I'm like, then do you even believe what you believe? - It's not your apartment. (all laughing) - I always like, - It's not your (beep) apartment. I just scoff whenever people are like, "No, I can't watch that 'cause it goes against, I'm like," - You must turn it off in your home. - You believe what you believe, right. Like, you believe it's the truth. So it shouldn't matter. But she believes, I guess, that God put fossils there as a test. So maybe she also believes God made "Jurassic Park" as a test. - What's the test? - To test your faith? - Your faith in like, you know, the earth only being like 3,000 years. - So "Jurassic Park" playing was a test. - Yeah. - The Lord works in mysterious ways. - Test from God. - Oh. - So my story is, I was placed, no, I went to a like a Christian summer camp. My parents like, "Yeah, yeah." Like, you know, that was kind of like everything in our hometown was Christian. And then at one point we did like a field trip to this like museum. And the museum talked about how dinosaurs and man like coexisted and it was like three, the earth is like 3,000 or 4,000 years old was was their pitch and dinosaurs were real and they coexisted with man, but the fossils are not millions of years old. The scientists are wrong. And they're only like 3,000 or 4,000 years old. But they were wiped out in like the, I think it's the flood. - The flood, - That, you know, - They're too big. - They were too big to fit on the ark. - Even though there's plenty of dinosaurs that were small. (all laughing) - But yeah. So they are real. - Small dinosaurs. - And I came home and I was telling my parents about it - And birds are related to dinosaurs. - And they were like, and they were like, "Oh, you're actually not going back there." - Why? - One point Spencer's parents. Zero points, - Your parents chose dinosaurs? - Yeah. Well they, 'cause I truly was so obsessed with dinosaurs like my whole life, at that point, for me to kind of like, to show, I think it showed how malleable like a child's views are where I was like, yeah, like, "Well, that's what they told us, like this authority figure." And they're like, "Okay, well that's actually, it's not true," so you're done. - So they were saying that that authority figure was saying those fossils didn't come from dinosaurs. - No, they came from dinosaurs but they're only like a couple thousand years old. - So they didn't believe in carbon dating. - Yeah. - They were like, no, - And so your parents are like, they aren't true simply because those aren't the facts of dinosaurs 'cause your parents believe in dinosaurs. - My parents believe in, yeah, science. - And the Grand Canyon was just God making a really complicated cake really quickly. - Yeah. - What? - He peed really hard. - Because there's a bunch of layers and you can date all the layers you can see like, - Oh, where's the frosting. - Well that's the top. That's us. - The us. (all laughing) Us and the mules? - We're the frosting, - The donkeys. We're the frosting? I can't. - It takes like willful ignorance, I think, when it comes to so much of these types of scientific things to go like, yeah, no, that the earth is not that old. It's like literally like can look at stuff. - Like, let's be real like your roommate's girlfriend, it's not her place. Also you were inside a room with the door shut. - Yeah. - Like what? Did she come out and go to the bathroom and see, - She hasn't seen "Jurassic Park." - I unfortunately also, I think this is just not a bro, like this is a guy who like immediately like, this is the type of friend I think that as soon as they get a girlfriend, it's just like, if the girlfriend's like, "I don't like your friend." He's like, yeah, "And I don't like him either." - Yeah. I don't like him. - It's like, he's not your bro, man. - You know what? Maybe he just wanted the girlfriend to move in the whole time and then he was like, this is the time. - Yeah. - It's a "Jurassic Park." - Yeah. - Poor guy was just loving his little Blu-ray, having a great time. - And he was smart for stopping after two. - Yeah. The third one. Which one's "Dominion?" - The fifth one. - Ugh. - No, sixth one. - Ugh. - I have not seen most of the, - I didn't see, - You didn't see Christopher, - Christopher Pratt. - I've not watched, I've not actually watched any of the "Jurassic Worlds." I've only seen really the clip of the girl getting, as I call it, Harlem Globe trotted by the pterodactyls. It's the best way to put it. - Oh, she's the nanny. - She's the nanny. - She's the nanny. - And dinosaurs are just throwing them around. - She's the nanny. And she's on her phone the whole time. - Yeah. - I love "Jurassic Park." But those ones are not that. - You know what? - That's "Jurassic World." That one. - I could not stop replaying it as a kid, first "Jurassic Park," the young, the blonde, her acting was out of control. - Yeah. - Remember her? She was like, - Oh yeah. To be fair, if I'm in a kitchen with a bunch of Velociraptors, I'm acting that way too. - But her acting made me laugh so hard as a kid. We would always rewind it and then press play again 'cause it was so intense. - Yeah. - And the little boy, - See, I used to dress up as Tim from "Jurassic Park" a lot. - Which one's too? - The kid in the stripe shirt. - Oh God. - He knows all the facts. - He's carrying her at the dinosaur books, got the bandana. - Oh yeah. That's a great outfit. - Comments. "Not the asshole. I'm sure whatever she and your roommate are doing in his room all the time also goes against her religious beliefs." - Woo. - "Roommate is just looking for an excuse to not live with you anymore." Someone said, "They didn't have a problem with it while you were watching "The Land Before Time," but all of a sudden after you discussed it, it became a problem. You didn't sit there and force her to watch anything and they were in a completely separate room. Not the asshole." OP said, "They think that once I found out that she doesn't believe in dinosaurs, that I watched the "Jurassic Park" movies to mock her beliefs and rub it in her face. Really, I just hadn't seen the first two "Jurassic Park" movies in a while. And the conversation spurred an interest in watching them again." Someone said, "Someone looking to be offended can usually find an excuse. I don't wanna get off track with the girlfriend's beliefs, but wow. However, you were in no way disrespectful. Your roommate is way out of line. I'm at a loss as to how that made her uncomfortable. You didn't lecture on evolution or ridicule her beliefs. You simply watched a movie that didn't support her very, very non-mainstream religious beliefs. You don't owe that to her." - She's like, can we put a "God's Not Dead"? - "And it seems even the roomy didn't know as he asked her if she'd seen the movie. I'm rolling my eyeballs around here. It's not like OP was watching hardcore porn in the common area. You were watching a couple of very well known and popular movies." OP said, "This was the first time that her religious beliefs were ever brought up. She never said anything about me smoking weed or drinking at our apartment. I'm a 22-year-old college student. I do my fair share of sinning. This was the first time I heard her talk about anything related to her religion." Yeah. It's very inconsistent. - It's an interesting battle to pick. - Yeah. Of all the things. It does, you know, it's a leap but I do fall into the category of like maybe the roommate was just trying to find an excuse. - I think that, I think it was bad. - He's like, "Go with the dinosaurs." - Yeah. - Let's do the dinosaur thing, 'cause if we do drinking or smoking, then we have to stop drinking. - Yeah. - Also, the roommate loved "Land Before Time." Why isn't she on him on that? - Yeah. That's what he's saying. He is like, it's inconsistent. Also, the roommate clearly didn't know about this religious belief. Well, dinosaurs mentioned that's very, - Hey dinosaurs, - Hey, this is a you story. I'm learning so much about you. - I think the boyfriend's cheating on him. - Probably. - You think the boyfriend's cheating on him? (all laughing) What? - I wanna go on, I need to make a Reddit account and just go onto these am I the asshole posts and leave just comments that make zero sense. - Drop 'em. - Just be like, "I think he's cheating on you. It's very clear that he's not respecting you." - Oh, I get it. I know now why you said that. - I think you misread the story. - Now I get it. - Okay. Our next story. - Okay. - "Am I the asshole for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she always jokes about sleeping with my fiance." - Probably. - So you. - They're just jokes, bro. - Come on. They're just jokes? - They're just jokes. - And she's allowed to say those (beep) weird jokes. - Okay, "So I'm getting married in October. Small chill. Nothing crazy. Should be a happy time, right?" - Yeah. - "Except my older sister, who's 31, has this thing where she constantly flirts with my fiance, 29-year-old man, like aggressively. And it's always under the guise of, 'Oh my God, I'm just joking. Don't be so sensitive.' The first time she met him, dead ass said, 'Wow, you upgraded. I'd let him ruin my life too,' in front of me." - I can't. - "I laughed it off because I didn't wanna seem insecure, but like WTF. Then she started with the, 'If you ever get bored of her, you know who to call,' comments again in front of me. I told her it was weird and she rolled her eyes and said, I'm too uptight." - She rolled her eyeballs. - Yeah. - "She's made so many little jabs. 'I saw him shirtless once. Damn girl, you got lucky. If you die first, I call dibs.'" - Oh my God. - "'Too bad you got him first. LOL.' Like it never ends." - This is just like Hamilton. - This is so funny. (all laughing) This is so funny. - "My fiance thinks it's awkward, but tries to ignore it. He's not flirtatious back, but he also doesn't really shut it down either. Just gets uncomfortable and laughs nervously. Last weekend was the last straw. We were at my parents' house and I left to grab something from my car, came back and heard her saying, I swear I'm not making this up. 'I mean, if you're having second thoughts, I'm always available. Just kidding, unless.'" - This chick is killing me. - Okay. That one's kind of funny. - That one's funny. - "Like the 'Unless' was real. That's not a joke anymore. That's a, goddamn come-on. I snapped, told her she's disgusting and can't come to the wedding. She flipped, cried, told my mom I was being dramatic. Now the whole family's saying I'm ruining the family over a joke. And she's just always been flirty and doesn't mean anything by it. I don't even care if she meant it or not anymore. I just don't want that energy around me if I'm trying to get married. But now it's this whole thing and I'm apparently the villain for excluding her and making it a bigger deal than it is. Am I the for asshole uninviting her or is this actually insane? Because at this point I feel like I'm losing it." - This one's really complicated. I mean, I think what she's saying is making me laugh really hard. - It's funny, but it's also just like, hey, if you tell someone to stop, it's like, hey, (beep) stop. - Yeah, like, - Slash serious, (beep) stop. - Slash serious like, stop, (beep) - The fiance's uncomfortable. And of course, he can't say anything. It's her sister. He's gotta just, - Like drop it. - He's gotta be like, (laughing) But I also think they could probably have a convo and she could give him permission to be like, "You're allowed." - Exactly. - "You're allowed to (beep) say no to her too. So it's like the sister, - To do that to like family, - It's really awkward. - It's so uncomfortable for either of them to have to set this boundary. - It's really awkward. I will say though, not inviting her to the wedding is a little kind of to the extreme. My family would never allow me to do that. My family would be like, "How dare you?" - It's just reached such a, - Well, I think the family is being like, "How dare you?" - The family is being, "How dare you?" It's one of those unfortunate things we see with so many families where someone's behavior has been a little outta control for so long that they're like, "This is just who she is." - Yeah. - It's like, "Oh, that's Uncle Greg. He gets drunk and gets in fights with everyone, and that's just who he is." - Maybe she should have given him an ultimatum, her an ultimatum, like, "Hey, say that shit again. And you're not (beep) coming to the wedding. - [Shayne] Sure. - You're making my fiance uncomfortable and the next time you do it, he's going to say something. Is that going to be fun for you? - Yeah. It's one of those situations where I don't blame her for what she did, because I'm like, that's exhausting. - It's exhausting. - It's exhausting. - If they've talked about it before, I think it's, - It's so disrespectful. - If I were talked about like, you know, the yeah. - She said she's brought it up, said like, "Hey, this is uncomfortable." - Yeah, but is she saying in like a told joking manner? - "I told her it was weird and she rolled her eyes and said I'm too uptight." So she's not giving specific examples of what she said. I think she's also saying all these times we're in front of her. So it's kinda like, okay, you're saying a joke and it's like you're doing it for Shock Valley in front of me but she was saying this without her around. She was saying this to her fiance. - At a certain point, her fiance can protect himself. - Yeah. - He's marrying into the family. He can be like, "Hey, no. I love your sister. I'm marrying her." - I think a lot of men just like, aren't used to, - That type of intense flirtation. - Having to like shut things down in that way. - In that way. Yeah. - Yeah. Women have a lot of practice with that. - Like truly, like I, - We do. It's like you're kind of, and I'm not saying that's not a reason to, - There's probably, - But it's like, - Yeah, - We don't know from this, if he has said anything. Like he could start off in a light way of just being like, "No, like, I'm so happy with her. She's the one for me." I feel like this sister though, based on what we're seeing, I just don't think anything's gonna stop her. She seems, - I feel like, I've just met a girl like this. She just always says the comment that makes everyone go, "Oh, Jesus Christ." - Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Comments. "Not the asshole. Why the would you ever make comments like this about someone's significant other, especially in private Tim with you not around. Instead of admitting her wrong, she continues to gaslight you into believing you're insecure slash overreacting. Ultimately, it's your wedding. And if she can't respect you and your boundaries, then she doesn't have to be there." OP said, "She disrespected me and I'm her own sister, that says everything I need to know. Thank you for your comment. Seriously, it means a lot." "Someone said not inviting her ass is the best thing you can do. She's the type, in my opinion, that will try to outshine you on your big day. I get she's your sister, but damn I would never do that to any of my sisters. That's so disrespectful. Can you imagine the sister taking a turn dancing with the groom? It wouldn't be pretty." Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole. Your sister is making a play for your fiance and would like nothing more than to bust up your relationship so that she could have him." - Yeah, that's another one of those Reddit comments. It's like, "Dude, she's cheating on you. She wants to kill you," blah, blah. "There is nothing wrong with you setting strong boundaries and your parents need to have to come to Jesus to talk with your sister about her behavior and stop enabling her." Someone said to that. "Exactly. And the fiance is likely not saying anything to avoid making waves, but the sister is just an ass. She's trying hard to come between them. She's calling it a joke, but if no one is laughing, what's so funny about it? She clearly has no respect for her sister." - So how is this related to you? That's the first one I'm like, - I don't know on this one. - It is just like, man, I let him ruin me. - Yeah. And I like, I think Shayne, you're right. Like, it is like one of those kind of familial, maybe familial is not, but like, it's the family member. It's like, ah, like, you know, like let him like, they get a little drunk. - If you do bad behavior so long, suddenly it becomes part of who you are and everyone's like, "Well, they get a pass." - Yeah. - Because they've been doing it for so long. But because like, if this was an out of character thing, like if you have a sibling who is always respectful and always cool, and then suddenly you hear them say something like that, you're like, "Whoa, bullshit." but she's been doing it for so long. - Yeah. Can I play devil's advocate? What would be worse, the sister being like, "God, here comes your boyfriend, his (beep) ugly socks. He sucks. Oh, great. You're marry this loser," or the other part. I think they're both bad, - They're both bad? - I think two sides, - No, they're both so bad. - Two of the same coin of just disrespecting her. - None of them are good. And they're annoying. - They're annoying as hell. - They're just like, stop. - Oh dude. People who don't let up on, even if these are, if these are for sure a joke, - Yeah. - Still annoying as hell. Still disrespectful. It's just exhausting. - Yeah, it's tiring. - There's someone like legitimately tells me like not to joke about something like around them. It's like, oh, okay. - Okay. - Like, yeah, like, let me do that then. - Yeah. - I mean, we tell jokes for a living here and we have the understanding amongst each other of like, hey, we, any joke is like, fine. - Yep. - But once, if a joke is said, it's like, hey, okay, let's not do that one. It's like, all right. - Then we don't. - Then great. That's all it takes. When people don't respect that, it bothers me so much. - Well, they wouldn't be here. - Yeah. They're just annoying. - Yeah. This is rough. I mean, - Update? - No update on that one. I mean, - Do you think that she still isn't invited to the wedding or it's in October of this year? - Maybe that will be the one the chosen to show up to. - It's just so complicated. - Can you imagine? - It's so complicated because like, this is unfortunate where the sister clearly is the one in the family who gets the pass. because you know, if the sister had a wedding, okay, I'm gonna be a little Redditer here, the sister had a wedding and she overreacted in ways and did something like this, the family would probably be on her side. Like there's always that family member that like, just kind of gets the pass and we read about it so much and I feel like this is the one. - I think it's because it's really uncomfortable to confront someone like that. - I think the family, it's kinda like that peacekeeping aspect in families where it's just like, well, if we all just like let them, - Yeah, but then it gets worse and worse and worse. - Absolutely. No, I mean, like I said, I'm not necessarily judging her for her decision to say, you're not welcome to my wedding. It is her wedding. She's allowed. She is allowed. Are there gonna be repercussions for her? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, it's gonna be awkward in the family. - This is a, I'm breaking up the B word. I think it was brave of her to uninvite her from the wedding. Like, that's scary. - Yeah. - The only thoughts I'm thinking is just like, are there boundaries you can set? But do I, based on just the story, - It seems like you wouldn't follow that. - Based on the story, do I believe it? And I think OP is seeming like she doesn't believe it either. Yeah. - It's like, we don't know how long this is going on, how constant, I mean, to get to the point where you're uninviting a sibling, it has to be pretty extreme because like, at a wedding it's like, you want them there. - Yeah. - You should want them there. So to get to that point, I mean, - You might regret it. - Yeah. I don't know. But these things happen. Families are complicated. All right. Our final story. It comes from am I overreacting? "Am I overreacting? Wife called another man daddy." - This is so you. It's crazy. - You're doing that all the time. - I'm the other man. (all laughing) - Yeah. He's like, mm. - Honestly, I mean we've seen the TikTok thirst traps. I mean, - We have. - Spencer, there's a very real possibility that somewhere out there is a couple where the girlfriend might have accidentally called you daddy in front of their partner. - You have a lot of thirst trap videos. How do you feel about that? - Great. - Great. Thank you. Thank you guys. (all laughing) It feels great. I'll let you go. - I know everyone's getting served them. - That's the funny, I get served them. - Everyone. - That's the funny thing. - Literally on URL Courtney was talking to Ted Nivison and he was like, "I'm getting served them." - Stop. - Everybody's getting served them, man. - I'm always like kind of shocked when people like know who I am. - You're very memorable. Very memorable. - That's the sweetest thing you've ever said? - Really? - "So for the last few years, my, "this is a 33-year-old man, "my wife, who's 29, has been very interested in an MMO game. She gets home from work on Tuesdays and boots up her PC and starts playing it for hours on end. She likes to role play there. She pretends to be a rabbit. It's sort of like Dungeons and Dragons or play acting apparently. And she has a Sunday gaming group that she plays with. I don't really get it, but it makes her happy. So I was always fine with it. The last couple of months though, she's been distant. We haven't lain together in weeks. Usually two to three times a week." Lain together. - Lane together. - Oh, lane together. - Lane together. - I thought you said lained together and I was like, that must be like an MMO term or something like that. - No. - We haven't lane together in weeks usually two to three times a week and she brushes me off if I ask what's wrong. We used to cook together, but lately I've been having to do the cooking for us both and bring it to her in her home office. She works from home because she won't leave her computer. Then on Sunday night, I heard her talking with her gaming group. She was saying, 'I'm a good Astor.' I swear this isn't her name. 'Mate is so hard but his mount is fantastic. His thing is colossal.' And then she giggled. 'Wolf daddy is coming.' That's when I maybe overreacted. I pulled the plug to the internet." - Whoa. That is some, that's dad behavior. - That's dad behavior. - That dad behavior. "She was more upset that I turned off the internet than that I caught her cyber (beep) another man and she tried to gaslight me into thinking I'm crazy. So I said some unharmonious things to her and now she won't talk to me. Was I overreacting here?" - Clearly a lot going on. - Yeah. - He was, - Whoa. - He probably said some up shit it sounds like, - So was she sleeping with another rabbit? - There's a game called Final Fantasy, and in it you're in a big fantastical world and there's different types of like people you can play out. So you can play as like, like a rabbit human, but they're just a human. Like the tall, I - THey get sexy ears. - Tall, sexy. Think of like a think of like, "Lord of the Rings" elf, but with ears. - Love that. - That's pretty much, - Oh. - Oh my God. - That's basically the vibe. I want to lay with someone like that. - See, this is where I wanted to leave Reddit comments with sounds and I would just leave a moaning sound. - But people role play in these games. So when they're playing, they're like speaking to each other as if they're in the world. - This is fun. - But people within the game, like have relationships, role played relationships and role play, like basically they just talk out. - Makes sense. - Phone sex essentially. - Yeah. - Just with added elements. Someone said, "Brother, I play Final Fantasy 14. I think you need to get your hearing checked. First line is probably, 'I'm a good caster. I swear. Second line is likely mate is so hard but his mount is cool. Mate being pronounced as M8, as in that is what players call the fight. You get a mount from it. Third line is based on the fact that the in-game announcer says the line, 'He put the colossus to the sword.' Fourth line is based on the fact that the boss howling blade is a wolf and says goofy shit like, 'Can you handle a pack of wolves?" Either this is a post meant for comment farming or you need to actually talk with your girl because she is not ER ping. She is rating. You are totally overreacting." Edit, "She was more likely reacting to the line, 'Where did that colossal thing come from?' by the announcer. I forgot about it. LOL. Anyway, use this as a lesson to sit down and communicate with her the next time you have concerns. If she's willing to still put up with you after this, that is." - Okay. Now, it's my turn to play devil's advocate. - Okay. - Love this. - It's my birthday, so I can do this. - Yes, yes you can. - I don't even remember what it was 'cause I thought of so many awful things to say. - I got nothing. - No, no, no, no. But it was like, 'cause he has been trying, it sounds like in the lead up to this, from his POV, which is all we're getting, he was saying a lot of like, hey, she has been really distant. I've been trying to communicate with her, you know, and she's not kind of like sharing this like MMO experience. So I get how that has built resentment. - Yeah. - In that way, but also like that is a hilarious misunderstanding. And pulling the plug, - It's a little funny. - And saying unharmonious things like that's, look, the question was am I overreacting? I think he might've been overreacting. - Yeah. He got paranoid. - I think he overreacted because if this is the first time he's ever heard anything of this nature, he needs to go into the room and say, "Hey, what's going on?" Right. - "What am I hearing?" But instead he pulled out the internet and then said a bunch of horrible stuff. - He wants attention. He's feeling resentful. It's building. He's not saying anything. So he automatically makes her the villain. Here's the thing, she might be having cyber sex. I don't know them. - Yeah. - I mean, she's a rabbit. - Just be like legitimately addicted to the game, which can hurt a relationship. - Exactly. - It sounds like there are issues that he's like, oh, we're not spending much time together. Yes, she's in her office all day, all night. That's a problem. You need to talk about that. - Yes. - They're not doing that. I don't like, I'm immediately not on this guy's side though, because he's asking if he's overreacting and he's not telling us what he said to her. He goes, "Am I overreacting? So I said a bunch of stuff to her." And I'm like, "What'd you say, man?" He writes out exactly what she said. He was like, "I said some stuff." - Yeah. He literally gave us four of her quotes and then doesn't say what he said to her. - Yeah. - I'm like, so yeah, I'm not on your side, man. - Yeah. What he say? - I don't like that. - [Shayne] Exactly. - He probably said some really mean shit. - He probably said some really awful stuff. He probably let out all of his frustrations, but he probably said some really out pocket things. - The B word, Brave. (crew laughing) - That was a very brave of you. - That was not very brave of you. Internet is pulled. - Yeah. - Internet pulled, that is like something a dad would do when I, yeah, that's like dad behavior derogatory. - You have to like find your internet. You have to like undo it. That sucks. - [Spencer] Oh yeah. - Then he doesn't get the internet. - He is like, wait, I didn't think, - He's like, I'm in the middle of watching my movie that she can't watch with anyone else. - Who says, "We haven't lane together in weeks?" - Also, maybe that's why she doesn't wanna lane with you. - It's 'cause you're talking like that, bro. - I'm like, she's the one playing Final Fantasy, but you're referring to sex that way. - Let me put down my sword. She's like, "Just take off your pants." - At the end of all of this. Which story was the most Spencer? - Okay, let's say it before he says it. - Okay. - What do you think? - Okay. - Mine feels, mine feels, I'm leaning towards like Lego vibe. - I'm leaning towards "Jurassic Park" because I think what I think not without, like no matter the situation, like if someone's like, "Oh, I'm deeply offended by 'Jurassic Park,' I cannot watch it, it's horrible," and then goes to another room. I think it's very Spencer. - I think I would put on "Jurassic Park" as fast as humanly possible. - I think it's very Spencer to not do it outta spite, to just be like, "Oh man, I should watch 'Jurassic Park.'" - I think I might do it outta spite a little bit - Okay. So is "Jurassic Park" the most Spencer Reddit? - I think that might be. The lingerie guy had me in the first half. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's very Spencer in how funny it is. It's awful but it's funny. (crew laughing) - It's stinky and I don't like it, but it's a little funny. - It's really funny. - Wow. - Yeah. Well. - Which one was so not you? - Well, there was the awful guy, - The sex Worker? - Oh no, there was the wedding one. - Yeah, the wedding one of like, - [Shayne] The sister who's just hitting on, - Yeah. It's just like, bro, - Stop. - You're uninvited. You're uninvited to my shit. - Just one of your least favorite types of people. - Yeah. - There you go. For your birthday. - Yeah, I get that. - Anyways. Well, Spencer, happy birthday. - Happy birthday. - Thank you, guys. - You have so much hair. - And you'll never go bald. - And you'll never, you'll never bald. - Never bald. - Apparently, we have a surprise for you, Spencer. It's a (beep) - Oh my goodness. - Oh my gosh. These aren't lit because we're on a set, but these are burritos. - Oh my goodness. I'm imagining from HomeState. - Oh my God. Honey. - Birthday burritos. - You have to make a wish. - It already came true. - Oh, there you go. - It already came true. - Be with us. - All you guys. - Wow. Some birthday burritos for Spencer. - What a treat. - It's Saturday. Get your burritos out. - Yeah. - Get your burritos out. - [Shayne] That's right. - Logging into Final Fantasy 14. - Nice. - Oh my God. - Spencer, happy birthday. - Happy birthday. - Amanda, thank you for being here. - Hey, anytime. - And thank you for watching. Let us know what other categories, what other subreddits you'd like us to cover on this show. Let Spencer know Happy birthday. And we'll see you next Saturday. - Bye. - Bye. - Thank you guys.